Thursday, April 02, 2009

Idol Thoughts - Top Downloads?

Welcome back to another week of dreary singing, illiterate judges, and blatant pandering. Favorites are pampered while undesirables are trashed. Because this ... is American Idol.

We got a quick glance at Alexis Grace in the audience, but I never caught Sarver. Alexis - who said she couldn't wait to get home to her daughter, was apparently pulled back for whatever marketing reasons ... although to my kids she might as well have been from last season already.

The TVGuide.com listings indicated the show would be one hour long, which made my heart leap ... but alas the show was actually 85 minutes (yep, it went until 9:25). Oh well, it is better than two full dreadful hours.

But not much, after Seacrest asked Kara for a definition of 'artistry' based on last week's quote, Kara channeled Paula in an incoherent and rambling litany of 'relevant ... make it your own ...'. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Anyway, this week was 'top downloads' week, apparently an attempt to even further push iTunes on audiences. The songs make no sense - we have stuff from before the cassette came out, let alone the CD and MP3 ... anyway, it is all a ruse to push iTunes anyway. Here is a thought, Apple - how about offer new releases for a day on severe discount like Amazon does? iTunes has lost loads of my family's MP3 $$ over the last 6 months due to this.

Let's get right to the show:

PERFORMANCES

Anoop Dasai - "Caught Up"
Anoop remains our fave, but he is no Usher-style dancer. And, despite the fact that he sings pretty well, the song choice allows the producers to put him in the roadkill slot and for the judges to trash him. Which they do.

Megan Joy - "Turn Your Lights Down"
She is glorious ... awesome ... a complete spectacle of terrible singing and dancing. Sadly, this is likely the last we'll see of her.

Danny Gokey - "What Hurts The Most"
My wife likes Rascal Flatts, but largely because they are sentimental pop that isn't much like the country music her father listened to. It is sentimental, schmaltzy and generally a copy of the original.

Allison Irehata - "Don't Speak"
Allison pretty much shouts the song, but the judges are worried about her funky outfit. She might be in trouble ...

Scott MacIntyre - "Just The Way You Are"
Scott is a pretty bland singer, but the judges are all over him with adjectives that really don't fit. Apparently his blind sob-story is working the demographics ...

Matt Giraud - "You Found Me"
My kids like the Fray, but are not too keen of that song. Matt butchers it.

Lil Rounds - "I Surrender"
She is just not as good as the judges seem to think - when we had other big-voice singers in past years they brought some actual polish - Lil just has potential. But to take away from the fact that she was crap, they bring out the kids and have Randy hugging the toddler. Could they have just said 'Vote for Lil or the baby dies'? She is safe for no good reason.

Adam Lambert - "Play That Funky Music"
I didn't like anything he did with the song, but the sheer spectacle of what he does is always entertaining. I hope he doesn't win so we can see him get to be creative.

Kris Allen - "Ain't No Sunshine"
The judges talk about it being fresh and relevant ... which is strange for a song that was released nearly 40 years ago and has seen more remakes than ... well, I dunno. Kris is 'hot' as my wife says, and that will keep him safe.

In fact, here is a list of some folks who have covered this song, according to Wikipedia:
* Bobby Blue Bland
* Fall Out Boy
* Will Hoge
* BB King
* Nikki Webster
* James Taylor
* Freddie King
* Betty Wright
* Adam Again
* Buddy Guy
* Ted Levine
* Tracy Chapman
* Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
* Paul McCartney
* Tom Jones
* Joe Cocker
* Kenny Rogers
* Mark Knopfler & Al Jarreau
* Andy Abraham
* Sina
* Harlem Underground Band
* The Blues Buddahs
* BoA
* Justin Timberlake & Robyn Troup
* Rockmelons & Deni Hines
* Lyn Collins
* Ziggy Marley
* Rahsaan Roland Kirk
* Lighthouse Family
* Horace Andy
* Johnny Clarke
* Joan Osborne
* Maroon 5
* Ben Harper
* Sting
* Lenny Kravitz
* Soul For Real
* The Temptations
* Eva Cassidy
* Tori Amos
* Al Jarreau
* Roy Ayers
* Max Mutzke
* Maynard Ferguson
* D'Angelo
* Michael Jackson[3]
* Will Young
* Woven Hand
* Hanson
* Emily King
* Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
* Slavi Trifonov
* Ladysmith Black Mambazo
* Justin Nozuka
* Kashmere Stage Band
* Matt Andersen
* Ken Boothe
* Budka Suflera
* Ivan "Boogaloo Joe" Jones
* DMX
* Ja Rule
* Junior Murvin
* Wynonna Judd
* Christina Christian
* Sydney Youngblood
* Rachel Z
* Finger Eleven
* Augustus Pablo
* Jose Feliciano
* Maysa
* Akon
* Jeff Beck
* Michael Bolton
* Boney James
* Elvis Costello
* Isaac Hayes
* Leonard Cohen
* Marvin Gaye
* Percy Sledge
* The Police
* Boris Gardiner
* Savoy Brown
* Daphne's Flight
* Sacred Miracle Cave
* Al Green
* Randy Crawford & Ladysmith Black Mambazo
* David Sanborn
* UB40
* Van Morrison
* Buddy Guy & Tracy Chapman
* Everlast & DMX
* Giorgia
* Subsonica
* Paul Brown
* Rodney Jones
* Sivuca
* Aaron Neville
* Fable
* Grover Washington, Jr.
* Victor Wooten
* Scott Walker
* Merrill Osmond
* Ysabella Brave
* Sakis Rouvas
* Cat Stevens
* Groove Effect
* Dave McPherson
* Kris Allen




My prediction for the bottom three:
- Matt
- Anoop
- Megan

And from that, Matt is safe and the other two sit for a while before Megan is sent home.

On the 'Judge's Save' - no chance of it coming into play.

A non-sequitur here ... we saw a little bit of the new Osbornes show just because the TV was still on as we were getting the kids to bed and getting the dogs taking care of and wrapping up ourselves. It was excruciating. The whole fake-wedding drama was awful and these people have gone from being quirky to just dreadfully annoying.

RESULTS
Another boring hour with a former Idol, some lousy pop singer, cheesy lip-syncing and indulgent Ford commercials. Oh, and about one minute of results spread over ten minutes of Seacrest talking like he is on downers.

Here is how it went:
- After all the introductions, which took about ten minutes, they finally get into things.
- Group night is Journey's 'Don't Stop Believin', which is a nice song they don't mess with too much. The production is the usual stuff.
- Next we get a Ford commercial with all of the usual phoniness.
- There is an 'up close and personal', which shows Matt doing a cool and fun impersonation of Gokey. On stage Gokey returns the favor with a mocking and mean impersonation of Matt which is met with awkward silence. Ever the stage-master, Seacrest brings in Anoop and Kris and Allison to play the game in a fun way, showing that some of the Idols have a real connection. Seacrest talks about this as the 'nicest set of Idols ever', but in reality we just saw the true Gokey on display.
- Then David Cook comes out and shows how the winner gets stuck doing smarmy power ballads ...
- Ryan splits the groups into sets of three - are they actually doing it as one of them as the bottom three? Not likely - I don't see Kris in the bottom three.
- The 'top artist' of the week is Lady Gaga ... who has an energetic stage show, but she can't sing worth crap and the song is terrible. My wife claimed it was memorable when brushing her teeth, but couldn't recall even the name when we were in bed watching the news. I thought it was crap from the get-go. When does this season end?
- Ryan sends a bunch of folks home, playing around with the 'have a seat' thing to pretend they are in the bottom three when they are actually safe.
- Bottom three? Anoop, Megan and Allison.
- Allison is safe, and we all think Megan is going home - but it is clear the judges have successfully fired a warning shot across Anoop's bow: we own the vote.
- Megan is out, and Simon makes it clear in a rude way they wouldn't consider saving her. He mis-heard what she said earlier and was pissy every since. He and Gokey should get a room.
- Megan sings better than last night, and she and Allison exchange 'Caw' sounds ... it is good stuff that sends a bit of a flip-off to the judges and producers. Wonder if Allison is now marked or if they will pursue Anoop again next week.

Another three hours I can never get back that consisted of ~20 minutes of singing, 5 minutes of results, and 2 hours and 35 minutes of worthless blather. My kids are only watching for the same reason my wife and I watch - to do it together. Which, I remind myself, isn't the worst reason to do something. Far from it.

We're told that next week will be 'Songs from the year you were born'. Should be dreadful!

1 comment:

Keith said...

The fast forward feature of TIVO makes the show SO much more tolerable, especially the results show. I was trying to get to the remote quick enough to miss a butchering of the Journey song, but I actually caught the beginning of it and was pleasantly surprised. My finger hovered over but stayed off the button through that song. The opening number was the highlight of the night.

Our family also likes Anoop but thinks he has no chance to win. My wife agrees Kris is hot, I think he looks like the offspring of Enrique Iglesias and Seth Green. Regardless, he is my favorite and the smarmy stuff he would be forced to produce is right up his alley anyway.